I made this site and totally planned on making weekly blogs, but that obviously has not been happening lol. So instead I thought it might be a nice idea to do a monthly wrap up, so I’d at least have to reflect on the month as a whole until I’m able to write more frequently.
The past few month’s have been pretty weird for me. I’ve gone back and fourth from feeling more motivated then I have in my whole life, to not being motivated at all and feeling pretty hopeless about my situation. The motivated points have been amazing and I get going at this pace where I feel like I’m just accomplishing one thing after another, I’m unstoppable, and then I hit this point where things slow down and I start to feel demotivated. I’m not really sure how to fix that just yet but I guess noticing and acknowledging is the first step. Trying to figure out with my therapist if this is mental or more of a biological thing. I’ve always had a weird and probably unhealthy view on work. I feel like if I’m not working then I’m being lazy, and to be fair – I enjoy my work so much it’s hard to tell when it’s “work” and “play”. That being said I think I need to work on having a healthier relationship with my days off. I tend to work on my weekends as well, which is why I decided today to just write and do other things instead of thinking about work I’m not doing. So far so good!
As I mentioned briefly above – I also started therapy last month! Even though I’ve only had two sessions so far, I feel like it’s helped me a lot already. From it I’ve realized I’m not very good at acknowledging things that I have accomplished (like most people I’m sure), and instead am constantly pushing forward to the next thing. I’m also not very good at acknowledging my feelings. In streams I tell people all the time that feeling is good! Crying is good! But I never really take that advice myself. I acknowledge how I’m feeling but then I almost immediately always push it aside with logical reasoning as to why it’s not okay. I need to work on that too.
I’ve slowly but surely been working on reopening my art shop. I’ve placed some orders for new products to see how they’ll sell and have been waiting on those to get in. I’ve also been working on finishing up my final “inktober” book (though this one has taken way too long to finish). I’ve had some people react sadly to this being the last one in the series, but I feel like three is a good number \o/. This also doesn’t mean it’s the last book I’ll be making, in fact I’m hoping this is just the start. I have a lot of big plans for the future, I just need to finally get something solid going so I can pursue them. Running a shop is stressful for me right now, but I think it’s something that’s necessary for an artist like myself, and I do enjoy it to an extent. I think I just need to get over those initial anxieties that come with running one. I know it will get easier in time. A friend showed me the video above a while back about how success is just outside of your comfort zone, so I’m trying to remember that.
So things I’ve learned this month:
-Slow down a little, but don’t lose sight of the end goal.
-Breaks are good.
-Feeling is good.
I hope you guys don’t mind these more “rambly” entries. I do still want to do more processes, fashion, and other stuff; just taking it one step at a time for now. Let me know how your May went – things you learned, experiences you had♥ Here’s to a good June~